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Ben James attended HU last semester but left after trying to start an LGBT support group. (Photo by Sara Long)
Ben James, a 19-year-old from Granville, Ohio, attended Huntington University as a freshman this fall. He came out as gay to his floor within the first weeks of the fall semester.
James attempted to form a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) support group on campus for students — homosexual and straight — to dialogue and find support.
The group failed to come together, and James transferred to Ohio Wesleyan University, where he currently studies politics and government.
Starting an LGBT group
James’ originally intended the group to be an informal place for students to dialogue —“a safe place.”
“I had nothing past the simple idea of a safe place for people to question God — gay, lesbian, or not — and talk about problems,” James said during a phone interview. “You can’t talk about it openly at a Christian university.
“I thought it would be really great to start a GSA — Gay Straight Alliance, but I didn’t want to use that name because I thought that the university wouldn’t want a GSA, so I decided to call it ‘LGBT support group/questioning God’ instead,” James said.
James explained that he was also struggling with depression, which was another reason he wanted to start a support group for LGBT people.
In October, James hung several flyers in the Science Hall, Loew Brenn, Wright Hall and the Merillat Centre for the Arts.
James put a flyer on a bulletin board near Director of Social Work Rick Leone’s office.
James said Leone approached him and offered to be the faculty adviser for the LGBT support group. Leone declined to comment.
James also created a Facebook group titled, “HU LGBT Support Group.”
“I posted it as a group and then linked it to my friend list,” James said. “I also put it on the new students Facebook page for Huntington University.”
James put a note on Facebook saying he was starting this LGBT/questioning God support group and suggested those who wanted to be involved send him a private message. He emphasized that the group was to be a safe environment and that no one in the group would be judgmental.
“Most gay people I know have lost their faith in God,” James said. “Unfortunately this has happened due to the church’s response to gay people.”
Coming out at HU
“I came out to everyone on Facebook in September after I had been here for a couple weeks and had gotten to know people pretty well,” James said.
Ben Daron, sophomore and resident assistant on Wright 3rd, where James lived, said James spoke with him before coming out to the floor.
“He explained the situation and said that he was gay, and that he wanted to let the floor know, and he wanted his college experience to live and pursue that life,” Daron said.
Daron told James they would help him as much as they could. Daron talked with Wright Resident Director Nathan Geer at the beginning of the year.
“This was my first year as an RA and that’s not something that’s in the manual,” Daron said.
James came out to his floor at the first floor praise and worship of the fall semester.
“It was a really good time for our floor because in the past our floor has struggled to accept people, but this time it seemed like everybody had the right attitude and the right intentions of accepting him and loving him through Christ,” Daron said.
James said the men on Wright 3rd were extremely supportive of him.
“They were absolutely fantastic,” James said. “I couldn’t have asked for a better floor and honestly imagining coming out on any other floor could only have gone worse.”
However, James did not feel this same support from HU as a whole.
“It was almost like a weight,” James said, “that it isn’t really accepted at all.”
Meeting with administration
James received an email from Ron Coffey, Ph. D., vice president for student life, requesting a private meeting with him the morning after he put up the HU LGBT Support Group Facebook page.
James said Coffey told him they needed to speak immediately because Coffey had received over a dozen emails from people the night the Facebook group was created to inform Coffey about the group.
“The fact that we were even having this conversation…I took it that they weren’t supportive emails,” James said. “He told me that the college couldn’t support anything that would promote the gay lifestyle.”
The Huntington University Community Life Agreement contains three statements related to homosexuality.
“Sexual relations are reserved for the institution of marriage between a man and a woman,” it reads.
Under the section titled “Sexual Activity,” the student handbook reads, “The Bible states that God created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage relationship between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31). Other types of sexual relations are clearly condemned (Romans 1:24-27, I Corinthians 6:9-10). As a community, Huntington University affirms the importance of adhering to the biblical standards of sexual purity.”
Click to enlarge
In the section titled “Sexual Relationships,” the handbook states, “Huntington University affirms the importance of adhering to the biblical standards of sexual purity. Violations of this expectation include but are not limited to, premarital and extramarital sexual activity or homosexual conduct.”
Coffey said he was concerned about the possibility of an LGBT group forming on campus, especially if it were to be an official campus-sponsored group.
“At most institutions, LGBT groups are in place not only for support but also in place to promote the gay lifestyle or at least to advocate for greater acceptance of the gay lifestyle,” Coffey said. “I think that would be the difficulty for Huntington University. We are certainly a welcoming university, but not an affirming university as it relates to the gay lifestyle.”
Coffey told James the group could potentially exist – if it was not called an “LGBT” group.
“I asked him if he would consider a different name, and I think that what I was trying to alert him to was the fact that LGBT groups in general tend to, at most campuses, be more of an advocacy group,” Coffey said. “If he was interested in education and understanding there might be ways we could do that without necessarily calling it that.”
James did not want to have the group if it couldn’t be called an LGBT support group.
“To me that was disheartening,” James said. “If you can’t even call it what its name is then to me there was no point.”
Coffey said there is a process official campus groups must follow in order to be considered a sanctioned group on campus.
“All official groups at the university have to go through a process to be accepted where they would submit a charter through the Student Concerns Committee,” Coffey said. “At that point, they may be invited to answer questions.”
James said his original intent was for the group to be informal. However, he did express a desire for the group to become a formal, school-supported group in the future.
After James’ meeting with Coffey, he went around campus and took down all the flyers.
“If the college can’t and won’t support the group — that wasn’t acceptable to me,” James said.
He said this was the last straw for him, and it influenced his decision to leave HU.
“I was one of the only people I know who was openly gay [at HU],” James said.
Mary Ruthi, Ph.D., professor of sociology, said she would guess that the percentage of homosexual students at HU is similar to the percentage in the total population — two to three percent.
“Since evangelical Christians tend to be less accepting of homosexuality than the general population is, I’m sure it’s sometimes challenging for homosexual students to feel comfortable in the campus culture,” Ruthi said.
James posted this flyer around campus when he was planning to start an LGBT support group. (Scanned by Lucy Luedeke)
Leaving HU
James transferred to Ohio Wesleyan University after the fall semester. The school is affiliated with the Methodist church.
James said the OWU campus is open and accepting. He said about 20 percent of the people who attend there are either from outside the United States or multicultural. He thinks this cultural diversity impacts the way the OWU campus treats openly homosexual students.
“My reason for coming out at HU was for Christian people to see that being gay is not just about sex or being effeminate,” James said. “It’s more than that. It [HU] is supposed to be a place of higher learning and understanding. It should be a place where they disciple this.”
Coffey said he agrees that HU is a place for students to build greater understanding.
“Whether or not the university accepts a particular perspective does not necessarily mean the university isn’t interested in understanding or learning,” he said, “but it may mean there will always be a difference of opinion or interpretation as it relates to issues of human sexuality.”
Geer spoke highly of his relationship with James during his time at HU.
“I felt like our relationship was maintained throughout, from the moment I met him, to the moment I found out he was gay, to the moment he left,” Geer said. “I didn’t feel like there was any change in our relationship.”
Geer said he got the sense that James wasn’t leaving because he couldn’t start the group.
“He indicated to me that he was leaving because he wanted to pursue a relationship and he knew he couldn’t do that here.” Geer said. “Rather than break our community life agreement, he went to a place that would allow him to do such. I respect him for that.”
Sophomore Michelle Embree said the forming of an LGBT group on campus seems like a tricky situation.
“On one hand, I realize that, considering the beliefs the university stands for, they wouldn’t want to appear to support homosexual behavior,” Embree said. “On the other hand, since he has now left the university, the community loses the chance to have an impact on him. Also, depending on the intent of the support group, it could have been positive. Being homosexual, whether you think it is wrong or not, is hard to face in a society that disapproves of it.”
Nate Sullivan, a sophomore who lives on Wright 3rd, said he agreed with administration’s decision to not allow the group to form under the LGBT name. However, he said he respected James’ honesty and his willingness to be open with people.
“I don’t think administration is in the wrong to be careful about what they support,” Sullivan said.
Geer said he was sad that James left HU.
“I felt like we as an institution did the best we could to represent Christ-like love towards him and I felt like he chose lifestyle over that,” Geer said. “I thought he could learn from us and we could learn from him. There was opportunity on both sides. There was opportunity to have that dialogue and for everybody to grow. I feel like we lost an opportunity.”
Andre: Yes, it’s outdated. I am not arguing from a philosophical standpoint. I am simply saying that if you are going to treat the Bible as a moral code, you need to be consistent. If you are going to argue using the Bible as a guide for how this situation should be handled, then you need to take everything it says into account, not just what you personally find comfortable or reflective of your own moral standards.
Here are some of my thoughts as I’ve read the article and comments: http://six11.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/huntington-university-and-a-gay-support-group/
Final Post (because this could go on forever):
I actually have a close family member who is gay.She was married, got divorced and is now living with her same-sex partner.
I don’t hate her or her partner. I’ve been to their home and “broke bread” with them. I don’t treat them differently and I don’t make comments behind their backs. I don’t judge them for the lifestyle they chose
I do however believe that the God I believe in, says that homosexuality is a sin and will as such, will continue to hold firm to that belief.
I don’t believe that my beliefs make me a better person or that their sin is greater than mine. Sin is sin – there are no levels, in my opinion. A child molester will get the same hell that a thief will, if neither repent before death.
There will be no end to this debate, because as you pointed out Matt, the basis of our arguments lie at the feet of whether or not we believe homosexuality is a sin. If we differ, then based on our beliefs, our version of God and who He is different. (And it doesn’t matter if we read the same bible or attend the same church).
You will never be able to convince me that homosexuality is ok in MY God’s eyes and I will never be able to convince you that YOUR God is against homosexuality.
I respectfully disagree with your position and hey, I guess we’ll just have to wait till the finale to see which God returns.
“James said Coffey told him they needed to speak immediately because Coffey had received over a dozen emails from people the night the Facebook group was created to inform Coffey about the group.”
My heart is heavy over more than a dozen of Huntington University affiliates’ zeal for bringing an LGBT support group to Coffey’s attention overnight. Should your* disapproval of a group of this nature be at the forefront of your* concern? I must ask: how many emails do we suppose Coffey receives regarding concern over promotion of greed, lust, self-indulgence, racism, etc. on campus? I suspect few, though I recognize that I am not privy to Coffey’s inbox.
Regardless of our stance on HU’s role in treatment of gay orientation and/or persons, may we raise our voices this urgently and zealously for all that we find incompatible with the beliefs that Huntington University claims to stand by.
*I hoped to avoid “your” language, but it would be innacurate for me to use “our” in this context, as I do not personally disapprove of an LGBT support group.
As a gay Christian myself, a student at Huntington for a short while, and as a friend of Ben’s while he was on campus last semester, I’m fairly positive this wasn’t his sole reason for leaving. While the guys on Wright 3rd really did an amazing thing in making Ben feel welcome (I remember hearing about it the night he came out, and how grateful I was that they were all so accepting), college is about more that just feeling welcome. College is supposed to be that place where you can grow, explore and find yourself, and unfortunately Huntington really doesn’t offer that kind of setting for student’s who are struggling to find consolation between any kind of LGBT lifestyle and their faith. At Huntington it’s really a one way path, which even though I heartily disagree with, I do accept the University’s right to believe and provide that one path as the only option. While the University and a good number of students did accept Ben as a person, the institution and the vast majority of it’s students would never accept his choice in lifestyle, and to choose to stay for any amount of time in a situation like that is incredibly lonely, especially when the majority of the other gay students at Huntington (Yes, there are others, and probably people you know!) choose to hide their lifestyle for fear of the same denial that Ben faced. I think that was ultimately what Ben wanted…a chance to help others like himself by offering other students the opportunity to not have to hide, fear and accept, but to explore and find themselves on their own terms without the needless judgment or retribution of the administration or their peers. However, because of things like the community life agreement, that will never be the case on Huntington’s campus, because while the University may accept everyone who comes to the school, the agreement still prevents students from exploring those alternative lifestyles. I think Ben realized that, and chose to go somewhere where he not only felt more able to find his own path in life, but where he could help to provide others with the opportunity to find their own paths as well.
I’m not going to argue whether it’s right or wrong because personally I think that’s for each person to decide for themselves, but I do think people should be more careful of being so presumptuous as to claim that they know 100%, without a doubt, what the will of God is. I know I certainly don’t. I may have my opinions on things, but I don’t feel that those opinions must be forced upon others, especially when talking about something that doesn’t pertain to my own life. It’s a dangerous thing to condemn something you haven’t experienced or don’t fully understand. I can only follow my conscience and pray that God gives me guidance for my life and no one else’s. The only thing I can say certainly and without doubt is that God put me on this earth with the intent to love and respect all the people on it without regard to race, gender, religion, or sexual identity. I’ll do the loving, but so long as no one is being hurt, I’ll leave any kind of judgment for other people’s personal lives up to God.
That being said, in this case I do believe the University was well within its right to deny the creation of the group. As sad and disappointed as I am with that decision personally, the University is still a business founded on specific principles, and I’m able to respect that the group as it was meant to be would undermine those principles in regards to homosexuality. In talking with Ben over the past month, I can say that I definitely think he made the right decision in transferring, but pointing fingers over who’s to blame for his leaving or arguing over who has the right view on homosexuality is pointless because there will always be differing points of view with evidence and scripture to support them. Ben didn’t find what he was looking for at Huntington, so he went somewhere else to find it…welcome to the world of higher education. I certainly hope that eventually the University will alter its views to allow for greater personal freedom and expression, but as other people have already said, we all knew how the institution felt about the issue before we got there, so if you don’t like it then go somewhere else. That’s what Ben did, and that’s why I’m finishing my degree elsewhere.
I feel this is a good point for me to put myself into the conversation here. I would like to say that for the most part this article is accurate, but the views of Geer on why I left are HIS views on why. Not nessisarily why I actually left. I mean if you look at his Q&A he compares the group I tried to create to a porn appreciate group. I think this shows the context and view that you have to appreciate his comments in. This group being denied was the final straw for me. I did not leave just for wanting a relationship (although I am in college, who doesn’t want this?), and something that the article didn’t mention is why I came to HU.
I applied to the school when I was out to my parents but not out out. In my mind I was trying to cope with there reaction and how hard my senior year was so I only applied to Christian schools, and HU appeared to be the “most liberal” out of all of them. I admit I shot myself in the foot. But whats done is done. I came out at HU because I just simply could not take the closet anymore and it was killing me. And everything I did after that was to try and make my, and any other gay student here a little bit easier.
You can have a support group that does not become political. Some comments on the article talk about how the university would be “parading it down the mall” or something to that effect. This is frankly insulting. There is only so much backstory that can be told in a single article. It did not mention the extremely conservative family that I was having to deal with, the sudden concerns of having to pay for 95% of expenses myself after coming out (I have a job working 25 hours a week, pay for my own gas, insurance, phone, ex. and a 5,000 dollar loan this semester). To say I was suffering from depression would be a massive understatement.
I understand that this is a Christian University, and that I could have made an impact staying. But let me put it this way:
I was in an enviroment surrounded by people who believed that I was not only living in sin but told me be celibant or “be straight”. If I somehow did manage to find a boyfriend on campus I could not hold his hand outside, give him a kiss, be seen together for fear both of us would be kicked out. I had a very difficult personal situation, and frankly it is dishearenting to be surrounded by people whom the majority of would never vote for your equal rights. It was lonely here. A kind of lonelyness that cannot be explained.
In light of this, how can you fault me for leaving? How else would I have felt after trying to start a group to give the students here who don’t have a voice, who have been suppressed, a place to feel safe, only to have to shut down because the administration was to concerned about people carrying that they actually gave a damn 10-15 million of Americans exist?
I would never have made this group into a place for students who are questioning there sexuality to be told they should be straight, or facilitate faculty to convince them to suppress this (as I have been told). I wanted a safe place, of open dialogue.
I came to HU a Christian, and left something of a Deist. At OWU where I am now, in the 5 weeks that I have been there not ONE PERSON has given me shit about being gay. This is how love is supposed to feel. I appreciate everyones comments and I hope this helps people understand that my goals were not malicious, they were not political, and as much as Nathan Geer wants to believe, I did not leave “a place of Christs love to pursue a lifestyle (paraphrased)”. Unless of course the lifestyle is finally beng truly at peace for the first time in my life right now. In that case, yes. I left for my “lifestyle”.
Matthew 19:21 reads: Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Who among us has taken this verse as literally as the verses we use to condemn sexual orientation?
After I graduated from Huntington, I began to pursue graduate work at a major secular state university. At that point, interacting with atheists, agnostics, the full LGBTQ spectrum (my fellow graduate student who studies homosexual tourism informs me that Queer has become the academic catch-all phrase), and believers of most any religion you can think of became a constant in my life. Many of these people are a long way from home, physically and spiritually. As Christians we cannot allow ourselves to become trapped in the notion that condemning sin should be a public pronouncement. No one reacts well to a stranger condemning them. You have to earn the right to speak into the life of someone else. You need to be a light in the darkness for the desperate, a welcome relief from the quiet desperation in which most people live their lives. Only when a person trusts you to be there when they need you, to do what it takes to be friend, do you earn the right to speak truth into their lives.
As Christians we should hate sin, but sin is not a living thing. No matter how much we want to, we cannot scream at sin and tell it to go away. We can, however scream at people and they will go away, but that’s the opposite of what we want. What it means to be a spiritual warrior is very different from being a physical warrior. “Our battle rages every day, every hour. If you have upbraided, or passed judgment on, or vexed your brother, your peace is lost.” We confront evil everyday in our own hearts, and that is also where we must confront the evil in the lives of others, through prayer. You can scream at sin all you want in prayer between you and God, it may well do you good to get that out of your system. When you come face to face with another human being, pray that the Holy Spirit moves you to act with love.
“The Lord loves us, and gently, without reproach, receives us, just as the father in the Gospel story did not reproach his prodigal son but called his servants to bring a new robe, and put a precious ring on his finger and shoes on his feet, and told them to kill the fatted calf, and be merry; and in nothing did he condemn his on. O, how gently and patiently in our turn must we set our brother right, that there may be rejoicing in the soul over his return! The Holy Spirit teaches the soul ineffable lovingkindness.”
To act with love towards another means to act with gentleness, to act with humility, and to trust that if you do those things, then the Holy Spirit of God will fight the battle in the other person’s heart for you. I would entreat everyone here to remember that it is when Christians stand up and proclaim what they are for that Christianity is at its strongest. “Often a single sympathetic greeting will work a happy change in the soul; while, contrariwise, one unfriendly look – and grace and the love of God depart. When that happens, make haste to repent, that the peace of God may return to your soul.” When we act with the Holy Spirit, others take notice and desire the peace that we have for their own lives.
Those who refuse to repent are those in greatest need of love, and coming into the understanding of God’s love is their only hope. Fearing sin is good and healthy, but there is something better, God calls us to be greater than that. “There is love in small measure; there is a mean of love; and there is great love. The man who fears sin loves God; the man with a gentle heart loves Him more; still greater is the love of the man in whose soul dwell light and joy; but the man with grace in soul and body knows perfect love. This is the grace that the Holy Spirit gave to the martyrs, the grace that helped them to bear every suffering with fortitude.” It is only by treating those who refuse to repent with the gentleness of heart, light, joy, and grace that the Holy Spirit demands that we open the possibility that the Holy Spirit can touch the soul of another human being through us.
The full love of God is a greatest mystery of my life and I pray that Ben gets to experience that too.
For those of you who care to know such things, the quotes above are from the writings of St. Silouan the Athonite, an obscure Russian born monk whose writings I happened to come into possession of quite by accident, but which have nevertheless proven to be a blessing to me.
I am a person that does not go to this school but do have many friends that do attend. I do respect the schools decision on this matter. Ben came up with a great idea and tried to make it happen. He has guts. No one has to support such a thing or agree to such a thing. Everyone has different opinions. If you don’t agree or support it that’s fine. But I just feel that people take things too far. Let people be happy and free. It is like people try so hard to tear people down and destroy peoples rite to feel and be free. I think the world would be a lot better if people would worry about their day to day lives and their own struggles and problems. Not everyone else’s… I have respect for anyone who lives by the Bible. But it is Gods call whether or not you go to heaven or hell. Not everyone elses. Yea the Bible says this it says that. But could God ever have a change of heart??? Nobody knows forsure rite. I just think people need to really think about a lot of things and what really affects their day to day life. If people want to choose to be gay so what. How dose that choice really affect you. Leave it alone. Worry about yourself. I think this article will shake up some good things for the university. The university doesn’t have to approve of it or have big gay pride marches through the mall as some people would like to think that’s what the gay students would want the university to do. If people want to be open about it let them. I’m sure people they are friends with on campus that don’t know and find out will still love them for them. If not it just shows what kind of person they are. I’m not completely backing the gay community. They to have plenty of flaws that makes them sound just as bad. It goes both ways in my eyes one is just as bad as the other. If you want respect show respect. Be open about your sexuality but have some respect to others. Knowing the university’s beliefs I would hope gay stutednts can respect that when it comes to public affection on campus in side campus to try and refrian from it. I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends. Just knowing that they can be open about their sexuality is good enough for them. I could go on and on but I wont. Let people be happy and who they want to be. Life is to short. I hear tons of great things about HU and have attended many events there. It seems to be a well fun filled campus. I do speak for both gay and sraight in this comment. If everyone foucuses on theirselves maybe things could be different.
Ben
I am sorry. I’m sorry that we treated you so badly. I am sorry that we were so callous to your needs as a student, and that we are being so callous to you through this discussion. I’m sorry you couldn’t have the group you needed to help you through the troubles you faced at HU. I fully understand why you are struggling with your faith. As Christians we are told that others will come to believe based on how well we love, so I think this was a failure by Christians around you (me included). I am glad to hear you have found a more supportive community. To all the other LGBTQ students at HU I am sorry that you have to live in fear, or that you feel outcast. I hope that you find ways to get the support which you need to deal with the issues our intolerance (explicit or implicit) raise. Just know there are students here who care about you and what you are going through.
There is a comment above pointing out that other sins are almost certainly also present on campus – greed, lust, self-indulgence, or racism. I’m sure they are – and others as well – laziness, selfishness, etc. And I think if anyone approached the campus or put up posters asking to start a support group for racism, or greed, or lust, they would have received the same answer as Ben received. I hope Ben finds peace with the world around him, but more importantly with the God who loves him just the same as He has since before Ben was born. Ben is asking for love and acceptance and tolerance and respect for his views, but it doesn’t appear he is willing to extend the same to anyone who disagrees with him. So much anger, lashing out, and foul language – on facebook in particular. Continuing to pray for peace for Ben, and restoration of his relationship with God and with his family.
I think Mark Driscoll once said, ‘Love wins.’
I’m glad that I came to HU when I did. If HU had been openly pro-gay, to be honest, I probably would not have come. But having attended for as long as I have, and considering the education I’ve gotten at HU, I’ve had my mind opened to a number of possibilities that I may not have considered before. HU’s traditional policies made it a safe place for me to explore more non-traditional ideas. I do understand the intent of the administration to stay within the bounds of what is considered orthodox, but I would have gone to a group about Questioning God. Because I do that all the time.
Kyle: LOL!
Tim: your post was exactly what I’ve been thinking as I’ve read through the article and the comments as such. I just kept thinking, everyone is going at this argument from the wrong direction. Honestly, it’s not about whether you believe homosexuality is a sin or not. Jesus said he came for the sick, we are all sick in our sin and struggles. Our place and job as Christians is to love the world towards Jesus. We are failing if we don’t point everyone towards the person of Jesus Christ. Through our arguing and need for being right we have pointed and even pushed people AWAY from Jesus… what kind of love is that? Lay aside the stupid arguments and realize that it is about the people and showing everyone who Jesus is and living a life following Him.